A year ago this month, I was 26 Weeks pregnant with Hannah and learning to accept the fact that I was on couch rest with Vasa Previa. My To-Do List only partially completed, I slowly and painfully let go of my strong desire to get things done and embraced the art of life in the slow lane.
It’s springtime and the world is busy, taking advantage of the few warm months available in Michigan. As it races by, the universe reminds us not to participate in the hustle and bustle, but to take this time to slow down and take care of our little one. We watch the beauty around us from the comfort of our home, in a view we don’t normally get to see, because we’re usually participating in the rush.
Davey shared this profound statement with me last year while I was struggling to make peace with the transition and this morning, it crept back into my consciousness. Because often times, I give into our scarcity culture of never enough and worry about what people think and how much I’m checking off of my To-Do List.
I’m sitting here holding my daughter while she sleeps and as I write this, I feel this strong, uncomfortable sensation.
I feel completely and utterly exposed, like I just told you guys a dirty little secret. Because instead of cleaning the kitchen or scrubbing the toilet, I choose to hold this tiny, beautiful miracle while she naps.
But I know a few years from now, I won’t look back and say, gosh darnnit, I wish I would have held my daughter less. So I’m learning to accept the criticism and judgment as gracefully as I can. It’s tough but I remind myself why we do it and that our parenting decisions are not up for a vote.
And when she awakens from her nap and stares up at me with a smile, her cheeks rosy from slumber, it’s a reminder to me to be present and continue to savor our time together, however long she is content just sitting here with me.
It’s one of my favorite moments.
So if you hold your baby while he or she naps and feelings of guilt creep into your consciousness, remember, you don’t need anyone else’s permission or approval to snuggle your baby. That’s just hogwash. They’re only so little for so long and we have our whole lives to tackle that all important to do list.
Snuggle on, my friends. Snuggle on.
Important note: I’m not suggesting that everyone hold their babies while they nap. We make choices that align with our values and we support parents that are doing the same. Sending love to all the mommies and daddies and caregivers of the world. Peace.